Tai, this chapter was dark. Coming from a very open and receptive family. I find the story very intriguing because I can’t relate to it. What I like about your stories is typically there’s a lightness that makes reading them enjoyable. This chapter made me sad for everyone involved because he can’t be honest with himself, Levi, or his family.
Unrelated, my partner and I just moved to Denver two months ago. You have clearly spent time somewhere between the Spring and Boulder to completely get this geographic area.
I appreciate your sensitivity to this very difficult, subject matter, Bob
thanks Bob. It was dark enough that I put the PS at the end, and i never do that. i have also never been through something this dark, but i tried to imagine how it must feel to be repressed for so long, to finally feel like you’re starting to understand who you are, only to have it all shoved back inside. that taste of freedom makes it almost worse for having had it than if you never had it to begin with, and that’s how i wrote this chapter.
Kai, great chapter. And as I read the PS, it did occur to me that this was a "dark" piece. But also, Kai is at a pivotal crossroads in his journey. 3 months of "freedom" doesn't make a dent in your 18 year life. Sure he is experimenting at school but during Thanksgiving break, his upbringing dragged him back to his old life and the new one was placed somewhere even he didn't know when he spoke with Levi. And then the impersonal sex. Levi knows this feeling. Kai knows he should be seeing him as an ally or mentor. But the "cross" is still calling the shots.
Christmas will be a struggle for him regardless of the outcome.
thank you. i wasn’t entirely happy with how dark this one went, but i’ve already gotten two comments / messages from people saying that this is their story, they went there, so I feel like i was faithful to the character and the human experience. But, this is also gay erotica, so i’ll be pulling back up next chapter.
I hate to say it but this isn't dark. This is still reality for a large number of queer people, even here in the United States.
Before I came out I got copies of my birth certificate, got my social security card from my parents telling them I was applying for a job. Because I knew the minute I told them, the minute they found out, I was on my own.
Losing your family at 17--I don't wish that on anyone. But it's not dark. It's not Kai drumming up drama. It's life. It happened to me and it happens to more gay youths every day. Leave a major city and it's a lot more common than you think.
You can complain that Kai's telling the truth but you can't complain that he went dark.
Thanks for sharing. I’ll just note: true life can be dark. There are things in our world and society that are just utter crap and work to make it that way for certain people.
I get Si's struggle to fully be himself, which would require him to acknowledge his feelings for Levi. We all have used sex to temporarily avoid feelings. I think Levi gets that because he did the same when he was a coming out.
Even (ha!) I have used sex to mask my feelings. I broke up with a guy and I spent two weeks hooking up almost every night rather than deal with things. I’ve never had to deal with shit from religion, but yah … we all do things that are unhealthy.
Tai, this chapter was dark. Coming from a very open and receptive family. I find the story very intriguing because I can’t relate to it. What I like about your stories is typically there’s a lightness that makes reading them enjoyable. This chapter made me sad for everyone involved because he can’t be honest with himself, Levi, or his family.
Unrelated, my partner and I just moved to Denver two months ago. You have clearly spent time somewhere between the Spring and Boulder to completely get this geographic area.
I appreciate your sensitivity to this very difficult, subject matter, Bob
thanks Bob. It was dark enough that I put the PS at the end, and i never do that. i have also never been through something this dark, but i tried to imagine how it must feel to be repressed for so long, to finally feel like you’re starting to understand who you are, only to have it all shoved back inside. that taste of freedom makes it almost worse for having had it than if you never had it to begin with, and that’s how i wrote this chapter.
Kai, great chapter. And as I read the PS, it did occur to me that this was a "dark" piece. But also, Kai is at a pivotal crossroads in his journey. 3 months of "freedom" doesn't make a dent in your 18 year life. Sure he is experimenting at school but during Thanksgiving break, his upbringing dragged him back to his old life and the new one was placed somewhere even he didn't know when he spoke with Levi. And then the impersonal sex. Levi knows this feeling. Kai knows he should be seeing him as an ally or mentor. But the "cross" is still calling the shots.
Christmas will be a struggle for him regardless of the outcome.
Looking forward to reading it.
Great writing, Kai. ❤️ 💙
thank you. i wasn’t entirely happy with how dark this one went, but i’ve already gotten two comments / messages from people saying that this is their story, they went there, so I feel like i was faithful to the character and the human experience. But, this is also gay erotica, so i’ll be pulling back up next chapter.
Well, I would say keep drawing from the "real" world. Don't push Kai too fast in his journey to "freedom".
I hate to say it but this isn't dark. This is still reality for a large number of queer people, even here in the United States.
Before I came out I got copies of my birth certificate, got my social security card from my parents telling them I was applying for a job. Because I knew the minute I told them, the minute they found out, I was on my own.
Losing your family at 17--I don't wish that on anyone. But it's not dark. It's not Kai drumming up drama. It's life. It happened to me and it happens to more gay youths every day. Leave a major city and it's a lot more common than you think.
You can complain that Kai's telling the truth but you can't complain that he went dark.
Thanks for sharing. I’ll just note: true life can be dark. There are things in our world and society that are just utter crap and work to make it that way for certain people.
I get Si's struggle to fully be himself, which would require him to acknowledge his feelings for Levi. We all have used sex to temporarily avoid feelings. I think Levi gets that because he did the same when he was a coming out.
Even (ha!) I have used sex to mask my feelings. I broke up with a guy and I spent two weeks hooking up almost every night rather than deal with things. I’ve never had to deal with shit from religion, but yah … we all do things that are unhealthy.